"How is this photo my beta. She is beautiful right ?"
Mom asks her beta while showing a girl's color-photo picked out from
her diary. This is one of the first questions a concerend mom would
ask her "available" beta when she feels her nanna-munna-beta has
finally "come-of-age" for marriage purposes. She, even before asking
her beta's opinion, would first advertise his profile in one of those
communitiy matrimonial circle manazines and collect profiles & photos
of available girls around. Then, Based on her perceptionsof the
prospective Bahu traits, looks and screening she'd hand-pick a few of
these profiles. Once this homework is done she'd introduce the Topic
of marriage to his son with one of these photos.
Typically, she thinks her "innocent-beta" would not allow her proceed
with the pre-marriage tasks as she feels he'd be "very-happy" being
single and would even want to concentrate more on his "career" before
thinking about settling down. So this innocent mom would first get the
photos and then try to "entice" her betaa with these photos and a
quick 2 minute summary of these girls - "five-six tall aakkum !! very
fair, Nice character..works as manager in Citibank. Music lover
aakkummam"
While our mom is busy with these pre-marriage tasks, seldom she knows
about the latent thoughts running on in her
"naive-beta's-gullible-mind". As we know, He would typically be
obsessed with "Post-marriage" tasks. And a typicalmetro born
"naive-beta" would have just had about 13 proposals, 3-5 acceptances,
37 dates and 5-6 broken-heart experiences until now.And his mom knows
none of these stories. Finally when none of these "extra-curriculars"
works out, the beta would wait for his mom to start "co-curricular"
activities.
He'd have cursed his mother silently for atleast 2 years for not
starting looking for him. But after the long long wait when his mom
pokes a photograph of a pretty looking lady on to his face and asks
the question, he'd play a TOM-CAT, would blush, look down, draw
semi-circles with his toes and say "Mamma..i dont want to marry
now"...
A typical beta would never admit that he wants to marry. Rather he
creates a scenario where he gives out the message that he is agreeing
to the marriage only under the immense PRESSURE put on him by his
parents. Here is how it goes :
Let the time now be 8.15 am. Our beta is getting ready to leave for
work. That is the time our mamma shows a photo to him. The girl looked
bad,and had a below-expectation type profile. So our beta shouts at
his MOM :
"HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE TOLD NOT TO LOOK FOR ME NOW ?"..YOU DONT
UNDERSTAND...I HAVE TO PLAN A CAREER..A LIFE..I NEED TIME..2 YEARS
TIME.."
At 8.30 AM when our beta is just done with the breakfast and when mom
feels he's cooled down, she shows another photo --> This time an
above-average profile. And a better looking girl. Our Betaa smiles
this time, blushes and says softly:
"Oh..amma..i need just some more time before marriage..just..u see..I
am working..i need to be focussed..wait for 2-3 months..".
And when at 8.45 am, mom shows a sweet girl's picture (resembling
Mallika Sherawat), the guy yields to "pressure" --> First smiles, then
controlls smile and then blushes. He'd pretend not to have seen that
photo at all (He's definitely noticed it though) and say politely :
"If you all want me to marry, then..then..I needed somemore
time...but. i'll agree..go ahead..whatelse can i do?..."
Then comes the "formally-seeing-the-girl" part. Son, accompanied by
his dad & mom, eldest brother of dad, elder sister of mom and Broker
goes tothe girl's house. On the way in the car our betaa would have,
by now, gauged the best of features of the girl like a
super-intelligent computer.Based on that single photograph of the girl
he has seen, our son would have fantasized the girl in atleast three
different dresses, hair-styles and fashions. And finally when the
girl's dad calls his daughter out to the living room to meet everyone,
Betaa realises that the photo he's seen was atleast 2 years old ! And
like the India's GDP calculation, the projected estimate (36-28-34) is
no where near the actual figure (34-32-36).
By the time he could re-estimate his calculations, imaginations and
have another round of self-satisfaction-survey (typically a profile
matching execrcise where he'd see if the earlier projected estimate
could bere-estimated to fit with actual figure) , his dad & her dad
have realised that they have a common close friend. His Mom & her mom
have just realised that MoM #1's 2nd cousin's husband's sister was
married to Mom #2's sister-in-law's brother-in-law. Also the Girl's
naani was the first to recollect the family name of our Betaa's Naana.
Now its a real dead-lock --> Even if Betaa wants to get off this
marriage, he cannot.And he has to again "yield" to pressure - This
time literally.
After consulting with all his friends, our son finally assures himself
that 34-32-36 with a Job in ICICI is finally manageable. They
(friends) tell him aboutthe intangible aspects of a woman like
personality, Behavior etc (Though its a fact that the friends have
themselves gone by "numbers" eventually). Finally, they both start
sending emails and decide to start dating. And he accepts the fact
that Not everyone can be mallika sherawat. There areother heroines too
in India.
After-all, according to his imaginations, except for the
VitalStatistix, everything else about her (personality, Body Lang,
pomp, attitude) is just perfect. Its again similar to how Govt
concludes on how "India Is shining" despite poor numbers like fiscal
deficit, suicidal rates, Below-poverty-line-% etc). And corporate
India goes only by "Numbers". No wonder why the latter is more
successful.
During his first date He realises that her english is accented & Body Language
is bad (personality test failed). And she realises that he doesnt take bath.
During the second date he realises that she wears only sarees or
salwar-kameez. (fashionability test failed). And she realises that he
doesn't know to drive a bike.
During the third date he realises that she eats only vegetarian &
would never visit a Pub or Bar. And she realises that he's not a
first-timer in Dating.
During the fourth date he realises that she can never miss a friday
fast or a monday temple visit. And she realises that He can never miss
a friday mumbai-disc or sunday pune-disc.
During the fifth date he realises that she wants him to quit smoking
and drinking. And she realises he wants her to start doing both.
During the sixth date he realises that her family is Keen to get
married to him immediately. And she realises his family has already
fixed up the date of marriage.
---------------- Marriage Takes Place ------------------------
--------- Thats a typical Iyer marriage shown above ------
After 1 week into marriage he realises she's not even Mamta kulkarni -
forget Mallika sherawat. And she realises that he's salman khan
without fitness. (In classical mathematical way, Salman - Fitness
approximately (or tends to) is equal to ZERO)
Yet...Yet...After 1 month he & she realises she's carrying :-). But
how ? :-) :-)
After 1 year, they realise they are three - Not two anymore.
Yet...They complete silver, golden Jubiless together as a happily
married & settled couple.
Yet..people around call it the perfect marriage and term them
"made-for-each-other"
Ofcourse there's another story on what the Girl realises about Guy at
different stages. But that could be more Nasty to write here! So in
this successful relationship, Neither the "numbers" worked well. Nor
the Intangibles. "Marriage is all about compromises" --> People say !!
But when everything is against expectations, can we call it a
"compromise" ?
Good day to you & If single, good wishes too !
