The WOMAN in your life...very well expressed...

The WOMAN in your life...very well expressed...

Tomorrow you may get a working woman,
but you should marry with these facts as well.
Here is a girl, who is as much educated as you are;
Who is earning almost as much as you do;
One, who has dreams and aspirations just as
you have because she is as human as you are;
One, who has never entered the kitchen in her life just like you or your
Sister haven't, as she was busy in studies and competing in a system
that gives no special concession to girls for their culinary achievements
One, who has lived and loved her parents & brothers & sisters, almost as
much as you do for 20-25 years of her life;
One, who has bravely agreed to leave behind all that, her home, people who
love her, to adopt your home, your family, your ways and even your family ,name
One, who is somehow expected to be a master-chef from day #1, while you
sleep oblivious to her predicament in her new circumstances, environment
and that kitchen
One, who is expected to make the tea, first thing in the morning and cook
food at the end of the day, even if she is as tired as you are, maybe more,
and yet never ever expected to complain; to be a servant, a cook, a mother,
a wife, even if she doesn't want to; and is learning just like you are as
to what you want from her; and is clumsy and sloppy at times and knows that
you won't like it if she is too demanding, or if she learns faster than you;
One, who has her own set of friends, and that includes boys and even men at
her workplace too, those, who she knows from school days and yet is willing
to put all that on the back-burners to avoid your irrational jealousy,
unnecessary competition and your inherent insecurities;
Yes, she can drink and dance just as well as you can, but won't, simply
because you won't like it, even though you say otherwise
One, who can be late
from work once in a while when deadlines, just like
yours, are to be met;
One, who is doing her level best and wants to make this most important
relationship in her entire life a grand success, if you just help her some
and trust her;
One, who just wants one thing from you, as you are the only one she knows
in your entire house - your unstinted support, your sensitivities and most
importantly - your understanding, or love, if you may call it.
But not many guys understand this......
Please appreciate "HER"

I hope you will do....

How is this photo, son ? She's beautiful Right ??

"How is this photo my beta. She is beautiful right ?"

Mom asks her beta while showing a girl's color-photo picked out from
her diary. This is one of the first questions a concerend mom would
ask her "available" beta when she feels her nanna-munna-beta has
finally "come-of-age" for marriage purposes. She, even before asking
her beta's opinion, would first advertise his profile in one of those
communitiy matrimonial circle manazines and collect profiles & photos
of available girls around. Then, Based on her perceptionsof the
prospective Bahu traits, looks and screening she'd hand-pick a few of
these profiles. Once this homework is done she'd introduce the Topic
of marriage to his son with one of these photos.
Typically, she thinks her "innocent-beta" would not allow her proceed
with the pre-marriage tasks as she feels he'd be "very-happy" being
single and would even want to concentrate more on his "career" before
thinking about settling down. So this innocent mom would first get the
photos and then try to "entice" her betaa with these photos and a
quick 2 minute summary of these girls - "five-six tall aakkum !! very
fair, Nice character..works as manager in Citibank. Music lover
aakkummam"
While our mom is busy with these pre-marriage tasks, seldom she knows
about the latent thoughts running on in her
"naive-beta's-gullible-mind". As we know, He would typically be
obsessed with "Post-marriage" tasks. And a typicalmetro born
"naive-beta" would have just had about 13 proposals, 3-5 acceptances,
37 dates and 5-6 broken-heart experiences until now.And his mom knows
none of these stories. Finally when none of these "extra-curriculars"
works out, the beta would wait for his mom to start "co-curricular"
activities.
He'd have cursed his mother silently for atleast 2 years for not
starting looking for him. But after the long long wait when his mom
pokes a photograph of a pretty looking lady on to his face and asks
the question, he'd play a TOM-CAT, would blush, look down, draw
semi-circles with his toes and say "Mamma..i dont want to marry
now"...
A typical beta would never admit that he wants to marry. Rather he
creates a scenario where he gives out the message that he is agreeing
to the marriage only under the immense PRESSURE put on him by his
parents. Here is how it goes :
Let the time now be 8.15 am. Our beta is getting ready to leave for
work. That is the time our mamma shows a photo to him. The girl looked
bad,and had a below-expectation type profile. So our beta shouts at
his MOM :
"HOW MANY TIMES I HAVE TOLD NOT TO LOOK FOR ME NOW ?"..YOU DONT
UNDERSTAND...I HAVE TO PLAN A CAREER..A LIFE..I NEED TIME..2 YEARS
TIME.."
At 8.30 AM when our beta is just done with the breakfast and when mom
feels he's cooled down, she shows another photo --> This time an
above-average profile. And a better looking girl. Our Betaa smiles
this time, blushes and says softly:
"Oh..amma..i need just some more time before marriage..just..u see..I
am working..i need to be focussed..wait for 2-3 months..".
And when at 8.45 am, mom shows a sweet girl's picture (resembling
Mallika Sherawat), the guy yields to "pressure" --> First smiles, then
controlls smile and then blushes. He'd pretend not to have seen that
photo at all (He's definitely noticed it though) and say politely :
"If you all want me to marry, then..then..I needed somemore
time...but. i'll agree..go ahead..whatelse can i do?..."
Then comes the "formally-seeing-the-girl" part. Son, accompanied by
his dad & mom, eldest brother of dad, elder sister of mom and Broker
goes tothe girl's house. On the way in the car our betaa would have,
by now, gauged the best of features of the girl like a
super-intelligent computer.Based on that single photograph of the girl
he has seen, our son would have fantasized the girl in atleast three
different dresses, hair-styles and fashions. And finally when the
girl's dad calls his daughter out to the living room to meet everyone,
Betaa realises that the photo he's seen was atleast 2 years old ! And
like the India's GDP calculation, the projected estimate (36-28-34) is
no where near the actual figure (34-32-36).
By the time he could re-estimate his calculations, imaginations and
have another round of self-satisfaction-survey (typically a profile
matching execrcise where he'd see if the earlier projected estimate
could bere-estimated to fit with actual figure) , his dad & her dad
have realised that they have a common close friend. His Mom & her mom
have just realised that MoM #1's 2nd cousin's husband's sister was
married to Mom #2's sister-in-law's brother-in-law. Also the Girl's
naani was the first to recollect the family name of our Betaa's Naana.
Now its a real dead-lock --> Even if Betaa wants to get off this
marriage, he cannot.And he has to again "yield" to pressure - This
time literally.
After consulting with all his friends, our son finally assures himself
that 34-32-36 with a Job in ICICI is finally manageable. They
(friends) tell him aboutthe intangible aspects of a woman like
personality, Behavior etc (Though its a fact that the friends have
themselves gone by "numbers" eventually). Finally, they both start
sending emails and decide to start dating. And he accepts the fact
that Not everyone can be mallika sherawat. There areother heroines too
in India.
After-all, according to his imaginations, except for the
VitalStatistix, everything else about her (personality, Body Lang,
pomp, attitude) is just perfect. Its again similar to how Govt
concludes on how "India Is shining" despite poor numbers like fiscal
deficit, suicidal rates, Below-poverty-line-% etc). And corporate
India goes only by "Numbers". No wonder why the latter is more
successful.
During his first date He realises that her english is accented & Body Language
is bad (personality test failed). And she realises that he doesnt take bath.
During the second date he realises that she wears only sarees or
salwar-kameez. (fashionability test failed). And she realises that he
doesn't know to drive a bike.
During the third date he realises that she eats only vegetarian &
would never visit a Pub or Bar. And she realises that he's not a
first-timer in Dating.
During the fourth date he realises that she can never miss a friday
fast or a monday temple visit. And she realises that He can never miss
a friday mumbai-disc or sunday pune-disc.
During the fifth date he realises that she wants him to quit smoking
and drinking. And she realises he wants her to start doing both.
During the sixth date he realises that her family is Keen to get
married to him immediately. And she realises his family has already
fixed up the date of marriage.
---------------- Marriage Takes Place ------------------------
--------- Thats a typical Iyer marriage shown above ------
After 1 week into marriage he realises she's not even Mamta kulkarni -
forget Mallika sherawat. And she realises that he's salman khan
without fitness. (In classical mathematical way, Salman - Fitness
approximately (or tends to) is equal to ZERO)
Yet...Yet...After 1 month he & she realises she's carrying :-). But
how ? :-) :-)
After 1 year, they realise they are three - Not two anymore.
Yet...They complete silver, golden Jubiless together as a happily
married & settled couple.
Yet..people around call it the perfect marriage and term them
"made-for-each-other"
Ofcourse there's another story on what the Girl realises about Guy at
different stages. But that could be more Nasty to write here! So in
this successful relationship, Neither the "numbers" worked well. Nor
the Intangibles. "Marriage is all about compromises" --> People say !!
But when everything is against expectations, can we call it a
"compromise" ?

Good day to you & If single, good wishes too !

THE SECRET TO A LASTING MARRIAGE: EMBRACE IMPERFECTION

THE SECRET TO A LASTING MARRIAGE: EMBRACE IMPERFECTION

When I was a little girl, my mom liked to make breakfast food for dinner
everynow and then. And I remember one night in particular when she had
made breakfast after a long, hard day at work.

On that evening so long ago, my mom placed a plate of eggs, sausage, and
extremely burned toast in front of my dad. I remember waiting to see if
anyone noticed! Yet all my dad did was reach for his toast, smile at my
mom, and ask me how my day was at school.

I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching
him smear butter and jelly on that toast and eat every bite! When I got
up from the table that evening, I remember hearing my mom apologize to
my dad for burning the toast. And I'll never forget what he said: 'Baby,
I love burned toast.'

Later that night, I went to kiss Daddy good night and I asked him if he
really liked his toast burned. He wrapped me in his arms and said, 'Debbie,
your momma put in a hard day at work today and she's real tired. And besides-a
little burnt toast never hurt anyone!'

In bed that night, I thought about that scene at dinner and the kindness
my daddy showed my mom. To this day, it's a cherished memory from my childhood
that I'll never forget. And it's one that came to mind just recently when
Jack and I sat down to eat dinner.

I had arrived home late... as usual... and decided we would have breakfast
food for dinner. Some things never change, I suppose!

To my amazement, I found the ingredients I needed, and quickly began to
cook eggs, turkey sausage, and buttered toast. Thinking I had things under
control, I glanced through the mail for the day. It was only a few minutes
later that I remembered that I had forgotten to take the toast out of the
oven!

Now, had it been any other day -- and had we had more than two pieces of
bread in the entire house -- I would have started all over. But it had
been one of those days and I had just used up the last two pieces of bread.
So burnt toast it was!

As I set the plate down in front of Jack, I waited for a comment about
the toast. But all I got was a 'Thank you!' I watched as he ate bite by
bite, all the time waiting for some comment about the toast. But instead,
all Jack said was, 'Babe, this is great. Thanks for cooking tonight. I
know you had a hard day.'

As I took a bite of my charred toast that night, I thought about my mom
and dad... how burnt toast hadn't been a deal-breaker for them. And I quietly
thanked God for giving me a marriage where burnt toast wasn't a deal-breaker
either!

You know, life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not
the best housekeeper or cook. And you might be surprised to find out that
Jack isn't the perfect husband! He likes to play his music too loud, he
will always find a way to avoid yard work, and he watches far too many
sports. Believe it or not, watching 'Golf Academy' is not my idea of a
great night at home!

But somehow in the past 37 years Jack and I have learned to accept the
imperfections in each other. Over time, we have stopped trying to make
each other in our own mold and have learned to celebrate ourdifferences.

You might say that we've learned to love each other for who we really are!

For example, I like to take my time, I'm a perfectionist, and I'm
even-tempered. I tend to work too much and sleep too little. Jack, on the
other hand, is disciplined, studious, an early riser, and is a marketer's
dream consumer. I count pennies and Jack could care less!
Where he is strong, I am weak, and vice versa.

And while you might say that Jack and I are opposites, we're also very
much alike. I can look at him and tell you what he's thinking. I can predict
his actions before he finalizes his plans. On the other hand, he knows
whether I'm troubled or not the moment I enter a room.

We share the same goals. We love the same things. And we are still best
friends. We've traveled through many valleys and enjoyed many mountaintops.
And yet, at the same time, Jack and I must work every minute of every day
to make this thing called 'marriage' work!

What I've learned over the years is that learning to accept each other's
faults - and choosing to celebrate each other's differences - is the one
of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting
marriage relationship.

And that's my prayer for you today. That you will learn to take the good,
the bad, and the ugly parts of your married life and lay them at the feet
of GOD. Because in the end, He's the only One who will be able to give
you a marriage where burnt toast isn't a deal-breaker!

For those who r Married as well as for those who wil get Married soon.....

For those who r Married as well as for those who wil get Married soon .....

Sharing a few thoughts for Would - be grooms

For Would-Be Grooms:

Rule.No.1 - Never compare your mamma's cooking with your wife's! There is no faster way to dig your own grave than that! Please understand that your mom's cooking has the backing of 20 odd years of experience....don't expect that from your wife whose hardly into the process! What if she were to compare your earning capacity with her dad's!!! So shshshhhhh....!!!

Rule.No.2 : Never go out of your way to please the lady with flowers, chocolates and gifts during your engagement period. If ever you do , please follow it up post-wedding too! When you could cover 20kms in 15 minutes when you are engaged just to spend some time with her, how dare you forget her birthday post - marriage, even after you are given the broadest of hints by her! Remember expectations always double...ever heard of them being halved ???

Rule.No.3: Do compliment her every now and then, verbally or with gifts! What are those lovely Teddies and Archies gift cards for? Don't sit there like the Lord Of The Rings expecting to be waited upon! Of course she will do it but everyone likes to be appreciated and pampered!!!!

Rule.No.4: This is very important! Sulking or complaining about marriage being a big mistake is a strict NO -NO !! You got into it with your eyes wide open, brimming with enthusiasm !! No one ever pushed you into it! So why this drama now!

Rule.No.5: Be Brave and take your own decisions and stand up by them !!Consult your parents for advice but realise that you are grown up enough to lead your life! Respect your partner's views at all times! Remember she has given up a lot more to make a life with you!!


Sharing thoughts for Would - be Brides.

(Don't know how many will take it in the right sense. BUt stil...)

Rule.No.1. Don't expect too much from him. Less the expectations lesser the disappointments.

Rule.No.2. Don't ever dare to plan any outing or movie on a day when there is an interesting cricket match going on. REMEMBER SPORTS is more important to him than anything else. U spoil his day n He spoils urs

Rule.No.3. Over Emotions, Sentiments... Woha... What are these? Tears are not going to give any results either. It's just a temp. attention tht u get. No one likes Cry Babies m Whining Wifes.

Rule.No.4. Never dare to cross with his mother.Even if he says "My Mom's cooking is the best. U are nothing in front of her." take it easily with a smile. Tell him tht u are learning from his mother and will try to do it better. U are not gonna lose anything!

Rule.No.5. Try to know his friends and understand that they are also part of his world.Allow him to spend few weekends or occasional night out parties with his friends.But at the same time make sure that u get u r due importance! It must not be tht he roams arnd with his friends forgetting that you exist at home.

Rule.No.6. Don't start fighting for silly things.Forgetting bthdays n Anniversaries is not a big mistake. Men are not blessed with 2 GB RAM for storing everything in main memory.If you are very particular abt present gifts n parties on u r bthdays n anniversaries.make sure u remind them well in advance by some means (I know it sounds stupid. But if u are so particular,Do it for u r own good)

Rule.No.7. Take him for your shopping only if he's interested.If you are going for Window Shopping or for saree purchase,Better go with your friends/go alone.He is better at office/home watching cricket.

Rule.No.8. Give him importance always. Show due care and affection.Tht 's the only way to win a guy's mind.MCP FCS fights are no more valid after marriage.Trying to dominate will lead to drastic results.

Girls and Boys facts

GIRL FACTS:

When a girl bumps into your armwhile walking she wantsyou to hold her hand

When she wants a hugshe will just stand there

When u break a girls heart,she still feels it whenu run into each other 3 years later

When a girl is quiet,millions of things are running through hermind.

When a girl is not arguing,she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full ofquestions,she is wondering how long you will bearound.

When a girl answers, "I'm fine, " after afew seconds,she is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you,she is wondering why you are sowonderful.

When a girl lays her head on your chest,she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a girl says that she can't livewithout you,she has made up her mind that you are her future.

When a girl says, "I miss you, "no one in this world can miss you morethan thatWhen a girl is mean to you after a breakupshe wants you back, but she'sscared she'll get hurt and knowsyou're gone forever

Guy Facts:

When a guy calls you,he wants to be with you

When a guy is quiet,He's listening to you...

When a guy is not arguing,He realizes he's wrong

When a guy says, "I'm fine, " after a fewminutes,he means it

When a guy stares at you,he wishes you would care about him andwonders if you do

When you're laying your head on a guy'schest,he has the world

When a guy calls you everyday,he is in love

When a (good) guy tells you he loves you,he means it

When a guy says he can't live without you,he's with you till your doneWhen a guy says, "I miss you, "he misses you more than you could haveever missed him or anything else

Formula 4 SUCCESS

Formula 4 SUCCESS...

A small truth to make our Life's 100% successful...If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is equal to 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then, H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E = 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

L+O+V+E=12+15+22+5=54% L+U+C+K = 12+21+3+11 = 47%

(None of them makes 100%)... _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ Then what makes 100% ? Is it Money? ...

...No!!!!! Leadership? ...

...NO!!!! Every problem has a solution, only if we perhaps change our "ATTITUDE" It is OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work that makes...

OUR Life 100% Successful...A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

To achieve this 100% attitude, you must !!! be disciplined in life……yes that reminds me...Even D+I+S+C+I+P+L+I+N+E = 100%

Don't you think so?

Relationship Rules

Relationship Rules

Human beings crave intimacy, need to love and be loved. Yet people have much trouble doing so.

It's clear from the many letters I get that lots of folks have no idea what a healthy relationship even looks like. So I'm using this space as an attempt to remedy the problem.
From many sources and many experts, I have culled some basic rules of relationships. This is by no means an exhaustive list. But it's a start. Print them out and pin them up on your refrigerator door.

1. Choose a partner wisely and well. We are attracted to people for all kinds of reasons. They remind us of someone from our past. They shower us with gifts and make us feel important. Evaluate a potential partner as you would a friend; look at their character, personality, values, their generosity of spirit, the relationship between their words and actions, their relationships with others.
2. Know your partner's beliefs about relationships. Different people have different and often conflicting beliefs about relationships. You don't want to fall in love with someone who expects lots of dishonesty in relationships; they'll create it where it doesn't exist.
3. Don't confuse sex with love. Especially in the beginning of a relationship, attraction and pleasure in sex are often mistaken for love.
4. Know your needs and speak up for them clearly. A relationship is not a guessing game. Many people, men as well as women, fear stating their needs and, as a result, camouflage them. The result is disappointment at not getting what they want and anger at a partner for not having met their (unstated) needs. Closeness cannot occur without honesty. Your partner is not a mind reader.
5. View yourselves as a team, which means you are two unique individuals bringing different perspectives and strengths. That, according to relationship expert Diane Sollee, M.S.W., director of SmartMarriages, an international effort to teach relationship skills to couples, is the value of a team—your differences.
6. Know how to respect and manage differences; it's the key to success in a relationship. Disagreements don't sink relationships. Name-calling does. Learn how to handle the negative feelings that are the unavoidable byproduct of the differences between two people. Stonewalling or avoiding conflicts is NOT managing them.
7. If you don't understand or like something your partner is doing, ask about it and why he or she is doing it. Talk and explore, don't assume.
8. Solve problems as they arise. Don't let resentments simmer. Most of what goes wrong in relationships can be traced to hurt feelings, leading partners to erect defenses against one another and to become strangers. Or enemies.
9. Learn to negotiate. Modern relationships no longer rely on roles cast by the culture. Couples create their own roles, so that virtually every act requires negotiation. It works best when good will prevails. Because people's needs are fluid and change over time, and life's demands change too, good relationships are negotiated and renegotiated all the time.
10. Listen, truly listen, to your partner's concerns and complaints without judgment. Much of the time, just having someone listen is all we need. It opens the door to confiding. And empathy is crucial. Look at things from your partner's perspective as well as your own.
11. Work hard at maintaining closeness. Closeness doesn't happen by itself. In its absence, people drift apart and are susceptible to affairs. A good relationship isn't an end goal; it's a lifelong process maintained through regular attention.
12. Take a long-range view. A marriage is an agreement to spend a future together. Check out your dreams with each other regularly to make sure you're both on the same path. Update your dreams regularly.
13. Never underestimate the power of good grooming.
14. Sex is good. Pillow talk is better. Sex is easy, intimacy is difficult. It requires honesty, openness, self-disclosure, confiding concerns, fears, sadnesses as well as hopes and dreams.
15. Never go to sleep angry. Try a little tenderness.
16. Apologize, apologize, apologize. Anyone can make a mistake. Repair attempts are crucial—highly predictive of marital happiness. They can be clumsy or funny, even sarcastic—but willingness to make up after an argument is central to every happy marriage.
17. Some dependency is good, but complete dependency on a partner for all one's needs is an invitation to unhappiness for both partners. We're all dependent to a degree—on friends, mentors, spouses—and men have just as many dependency needs as women.
18. Maintain self-respect and self-esteem. It's easier for someone to like you and to be around you when you like yourself. Research has shown that the more roles people fill, the more sources of self-esteem they have. Meaningful work—paid or volunteer—has long been one of the most important ways to exercise and fortify a sense of self.
19. Enrich your relationship by bringing into it new interests from outside the relationship. The more passions in life that you have and share, the richer your relationship will be. It is unrealistic to expect one person to meet all of your needs in life.
20. Cooperate, cooperate, cooperate. Share responsibilities. Relationships work ONLY when they are two-way streets, with much give and take.
21. Stay open to spontaneity.
22. Maintain your energy. Stay healthy.
23. Recognize that all relationships have their ups and downs and do not ride at a continuous high all the time. No relationship is perfect all the time. Working together through the hard times will make the relationship stronger.
24. Make good sense of a bad relationship by examining it as a reflection of your beliefs about yourself. Don't just run away from a bad relationship; you'll only repeat it with the next partner. Use it as a mirror to look at yourself, to understand what part of you is creating this relationship. Change yourself before you change your relationship.
25. Understand that love is not an absolute, not a limited commodity that you're in of or out of. Says Sollee: It's a feeling that ebbs and flows depending on how you treat each other. If you learn new ways to interact, the feelings can come flowing back, often stronger than before.

Did I marry the right person ?

Too good!..Read when you are free

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind. Here's the answer.EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to do anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU. People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the Imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU. Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, church, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this): THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it, day in and day out. That's why we have the expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it Takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable... You can "make" love. Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling. Hope you enjoyed the reading.
"There is no way for happiness, happiness is the way"

"Quarter-life Crisis"

"Quarter-life Crisis" ---- It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.You look at your job; and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender.We call it the "Quarter-life Crisis."

About myself

Hi.

I am working as an Package Solution Consultant (ERP SAP HCM) for IBM India Private Limited (Global Business Services).

Prior to this I worked as an SAP HR Consultant for Wipro Technologies.

I am a normal, down to earth person, emotionally very stable and someone who knows his mind. I'm very ambitious and dynamic in my professional life but easy-going and uncomplicated in my personal life.

"Life is an experiment. It could end in disaster one day, puts you on top of the world the next day and will leave you wondering what happens, the next. The challenge is to turn the experiment into a life, well experimented. "